by Jana Bohrer
Next up in our ongoing series – a twofer – with poetry!
U – Use the Cube as a Weapon, NOT as a Gift &
B – Blend Checker Play and Cube Action
(Remember while you groan, it’s not that easy. You try it sometime.)
I once knew a player from Akron,
Who blent checker play and cube action.
He first threw the men,
The cube followed them.
And they landed mixed up in the bathroom.
It’s a true story too. Except for a few major details.
I have never known a player from Akron. If I ever did know a player from Akron, I apologize. I didn’t know I knew you.
You were an unknown known. As it were.
Anyway, the player involved in the equipment tossing was in a post-tournament chouette, and I’m afraid his scoresheet didn’t look too healthy. At around 4:00 am, when the human spirit is at its lowest ebb, this player was in a losing race. He rolled 2-1 – twice. But it was only after his opponent rolled a 6-6, and he rolled a 2-1 for the third time that he cracked. He did not use the cube as a weapon, nor did he throw the checkers. That was poetic license.
What he did do was express some frustration with his dice by “rolling” them about 50 feet into the bathroom where they bounced around like Chicklets. It was a good pitch. Judging from his set up and finger position, I think it was a knuckle ball curve for a strike right over the toilet bowl.
They whizzed right by the head of his opponent sitting opposite, who swears he could hear a small sonic boom as they went by. I don’t believe that though, he was too busy ducking under the table to notice much of anything in my opinion.
Well, it took a while to locate the dice. They were the tiny precision kind, and they were white, so they sort of blended in with the hotel bathroom decor. But it was the damndest thing, when we found them he had rolled – 6-6! Making him the record-holder for “Longest Shooter of Boxcars in a Non-Tournament Situation”.
PS – None of the above is really true either. Probably.